So here are Tyler's results from the personality assessment that I posted about below.
He is a Generous Analyst, which pretty much means that we are complete opposites! It's a good thing that opposites attract...
9.10.2007
Major Apologies
I just finished Ronald Sider's "Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger." Like anyone else I've talked to that's taken the time to read it, the face of Christianity has just undergone a radical face lift for me, and the pains of the surgical incisions have not yet worn off completely. In fact, I think it's time for some repentance.
Mostly, recounting experiences of my trip to Bangladesh a few years ago is plaguing me. I was so stupid in the ways that I chose to be an emissary for Jesus to the developing world. Often we would travel to the capital, Dhaka for errands, visits with other missionaries, and trips to the national bank to cash in traveler's checks. Once while a few of us waited in the van while a friend ran into a store, beggars and Bengali onlookers would swarm us. Some just wanted a look at the white girls, others were wounded, sick, blind, or starving and in need of a few taka (the currency). So what did we do while they tapped the windows and called out to us?
We sat there. I sat there.
Disengaged. Eyes-downward. Silently begging myself for our shopper friends to quickly return. I am so sorry I was unable to generously pass out my crisp taka to those people. Instead, even then, it was burning a hole in my wallet. Now the memory of my wallet has spontaneously combusted. Why did I return from that trip with so much money left over? Why was I so negligent to their needs?
I can say that I was a good house guest to the women who spent more than they had on lavish bowls of rice and even meat in service to us. I ate bowl after bowlful as was expected and pleasing to our hostesses. But then why was I so reticent in dining with the family who housed us? Often we would retreat to bed early instead of sharing in quality time with them. While we were certainly tired and the language barriers difficult, still, there were ways to be together that I avoided. What missed blessings and occasions for learning for all of us.
I am sincerely remorseful. I want to say that I didn't know. I want it to be okay that I missed so many opportunities to serve. I want to say that the trip was less about me and more about the people we met. And to some extent, I think God understands all of this. On the other hand, I seek forgiveness now for mistakes then. I don't want to repeat them.
The homeless individuals that I see at the end of the exit ramp in Pasadena on my way to school each day are a helpful reminder of my affluence and need to simply live, share, and serve more passionately, sincerely, and holistically. But still, I ask the question, how do we radically separate ourselves from the ways/lies of our materialistic culture, yet stay engaged enough so as to enact change and show the world that we Christians love the world's inhabitants without contempt.
P.S. Sider is really theologically conservative, and this was a little annoying every now and then. But geesh, the book speaks for itself and compels me to examine so many aspects of my current theology that still need a nip and tuck. Nurse, another shot of morphine please.
Mostly, recounting experiences of my trip to Bangladesh a few years ago is plaguing me. I was so stupid in the ways that I chose to be an emissary for Jesus to the developing world. Often we would travel to the capital, Dhaka for errands, visits with other missionaries, and trips to the national bank to cash in traveler's checks. Once while a few of us waited in the van while a friend ran into a store, beggars and Bengali onlookers would swarm us. Some just wanted a look at the white girls, others were wounded, sick, blind, or starving and in need of a few taka (the currency). So what did we do while they tapped the windows and called out to us?
We sat there. I sat there.
Disengaged. Eyes-downward. Silently begging myself for our shopper friends to quickly return. I am so sorry I was unable to generously pass out my crisp taka to those people. Instead, even then, it was burning a hole in my wallet. Now the memory of my wallet has spontaneously combusted. Why did I return from that trip with so much money left over? Why was I so negligent to their needs?
I can say that I was a good house guest to the women who spent more than they had on lavish bowls of rice and even meat in service to us. I ate bowl after bowlful as was expected and pleasing to our hostesses. But then why was I so reticent in dining with the family who housed us? Often we would retreat to bed early instead of sharing in quality time with them. While we were certainly tired and the language barriers difficult, still, there were ways to be together that I avoided. What missed blessings and occasions for learning for all of us.
I am sincerely remorseful. I want to say that I didn't know. I want it to be okay that I missed so many opportunities to serve. I want to say that the trip was less about me and more about the people we met. And to some extent, I think God understands all of this. On the other hand, I seek forgiveness now for mistakes then. I don't want to repeat them.
The homeless individuals that I see at the end of the exit ramp in Pasadena on my way to school each day are a helpful reminder of my affluence and need to simply live, share, and serve more passionately, sincerely, and holistically. But still, I ask the question, how do we radically separate ourselves from the ways/lies of our materialistic culture, yet stay engaged enough so as to enact change and show the world that we Christians love the world's inhabitants without contempt.
P.S. Sider is really theologically conservative, and this was a little annoying every now and then. But geesh, the book speaks for itself and compels me to examine so many aspects of my current theology that still need a nip and tuck. Nurse, another shot of morphine please.
personality dna
So this is a pretty cool website that with a few minutes of answering some fun self-identifying questions offers you the DNA of your personality. Apparently I am a CREATING ADVOCATE. I was pleasantly surprised by the results. I disagree a bit the extroversion part, I'm a bit more to myself than what came out I think. Otherwise, it's pretty accurate. Check out my map. In case you're particularly interested you can go to
My personalDNA Report
My personalDNA Report
9.01.2007
What happened?
Today has been a shitty day. I have been looking forward to it all week, and it was horrible. Tyler hates the beach. I mean, hates. Hates the sand, the sticky lotion feeling, the sun, the ocean, etc. He just does not like it. I love it! I love the sand, the sticky lotion feeling, the sun, the ocean, etc! I really like it a lot. So he agrees to go with Livia and me when he's feeling generous and especially family-oriented. So we decide to go today even though it's a holiday weekend, because it's a holiday weekend...
I was up several times with Livia last night because she gets too hot too easily and was over-heated all day yesterday since our apartment cooling system sucks and it's hotter than hell outside. So I wake up with her this morning, as is my weekend duty, to begin the day tired. But her fever is gone; so I'm relieved about that. I prepare us for the trip: gather towels, lotion, buckets and digging devices. I fix a few sandwiches, gather some nalgenes of water, and stick the nilla wafers all in the ice-filled cooler. I get Liv and myself ready. It takes about an hour and quite a bit of energy. Tyler packs the car, and we're off. Half way there, when he has yet to speak b/c he is so bummed to be going to the beach we hit traffic jam central. What should be about an hour drive quickly progressed into two. Liv was crying, I was attempting to feed her lunch and get her to drink from a nalgene (forgot the sippy cup) with jerky stop-n-go movements all while we starred at the bumper of the oversized fire engine bumper, oh wait, just a ford pick-up in front of us. The tension in me started yelling at Tyler and crying with Livia. So by the time we get there, I am pissed at Tyler and the whole situation.
There is no parking left so after circling the lot and catching a departing boogie boarder's spot, we get to our locale en beach and spend several minutes setting-up. Over the course of the next two hours, Livia's heat problem (that I thought would improve in the cold Pacific and breezy beach air) worsens to the point of a head-to-toe rash. Literally, her entire body is blotchy. So we leave and drive home for another hour and a half to nearly run out of gas and have another fight later tonight post-dinner. Livia screamed or fussed most of the evening because she felt so bad and was exhausted. I have a migraine.
wa-hoo. Can't wait to do that again. Why is it so hard to communicate when your expectations go awry so badly?
I was up several times with Livia last night because she gets too hot too easily and was over-heated all day yesterday since our apartment cooling system sucks and it's hotter than hell outside. So I wake up with her this morning, as is my weekend duty, to begin the day tired. But her fever is gone; so I'm relieved about that. I prepare us for the trip: gather towels, lotion, buckets and digging devices. I fix a few sandwiches, gather some nalgenes of water, and stick the nilla wafers all in the ice-filled cooler. I get Liv and myself ready. It takes about an hour and quite a bit of energy. Tyler packs the car, and we're off. Half way there, when he has yet to speak b/c he is so bummed to be going to the beach we hit traffic jam central. What should be about an hour drive quickly progressed into two. Liv was crying, I was attempting to feed her lunch and get her to drink from a nalgene (forgot the sippy cup) with jerky stop-n-go movements all while we starred at the bumper of the oversized fire engine bumper, oh wait, just a ford pick-up in front of us. The tension in me started yelling at Tyler and crying with Livia. So by the time we get there, I am pissed at Tyler and the whole situation.
There is no parking left so after circling the lot and catching a departing boogie boarder's spot, we get to our locale en beach and spend several minutes setting-up. Over the course of the next two hours, Livia's heat problem (that I thought would improve in the cold Pacific and breezy beach air) worsens to the point of a head-to-toe rash. Literally, her entire body is blotchy. So we leave and drive home for another hour and a half to nearly run out of gas and have another fight later tonight post-dinner. Livia screamed or fussed most of the evening because she felt so bad and was exhausted. I have a migraine.
wa-hoo. Can't wait to do that again. Why is it so hard to communicate when your expectations go awry so badly?
8.24.2007
Lake Leelanau
These photos best encapsulate our Michigan experience.
So...the Bass Pro Shop hats? Well, Tyler and I had our first experience at the new super shop Grand Opening in Rancho Cucamonga and boy, were we flabergasted--by the sheer amount of smokers gathered in one place, the giant stuffed deers, and well, let's face it, all the mullets outside the front entrance eye-ing the display boats. How could anyone resist the $2.99 mesh trucker hats to commemorate the experience? (No, I wasn't really drinking alcohol. It was a prop.)
So...the Bass Pro Shop hats? Well, Tyler and I had our first experience at the new super shop Grand Opening in Rancho Cucamonga and boy, were we flabergasted--by the sheer amount of smokers gathered in one place, the giant stuffed deers, and well, let's face it, all the mullets outside the front entrance eye-ing the display boats. How could anyone resist the $2.99 mesh trucker hats to commemorate the experience? (No, I wasn't really drinking alcohol. It was a prop.)
8.21.2007
Ethics Yikes
Well, Here I am. Back from a blogging hiatus of what?...three months now. Where does the time go? I have an ethics midterm tomorrow morning, so what better time to begin anew on the blogspot then the night before the big exams in a great effort to procrastinate on further study. Frankly, the thought of defending just war and just peacemaking along with articulating arguments on euthanasia, in vitro fertilization, premarital sex, and divorce is exhausting me at the moment. Oh, why I can't I just pray for God to divinely inspire me and claim the A now? Just kidding.
Anyway, my brain has been processing lots of theological issues lately: church planting, salvation vs. redemption, and reconciliation. I am not going to get into all of it right now (my conscience is telling me to hurry this up and get back to studying somewhat), but I will say that a realization has hit me amidst recent conversation and ethical readings: I have never fully been wounded by another person. Yes the occasional backslap of petty middle school girls and sorority (don't tell anyone that I used to be Greek) mishaps have come my way, but I'm talking about for real woundedness. The realization came about through the ethics lecture on divorce and the power that comes from a covenant relationship that has been broken and then seeks healing through the power of God, rather than quitting the marriage. Until now I have doubted the powers at work here: forgiveness, healing, authentic reconciliation. But I am beginning to believe in the possibility of it all, and it is radically changing the way I think about larger issues in the world where we need to forgive and seek healing in order to continue living.
On a different note, I began my 22nd week of pregnancy this past
weekend. It's flying by and that makes me a little nervous because life with an 17 month old and newborn is going to be insane for a while. But I can't hardly wait either!! The pic is from several weeks ago, so he's a lot bigger now.
And with that, to Glen I return...one of three professors who keeps me sane at Fuller so far. Many thanks!
Anyway, my brain has been processing lots of theological issues lately: church planting, salvation vs. redemption, and reconciliation. I am not going to get into all of it right now (my conscience is telling me to hurry this up and get back to studying somewhat), but I will say that a realization has hit me amidst recent conversation and ethical readings: I have never fully been wounded by another person. Yes the occasional backslap of petty middle school girls and sorority (don't tell anyone that I used to be Greek) mishaps have come my way, but I'm talking about for real woundedness. The realization came about through the ethics lecture on divorce and the power that comes from a covenant relationship that has been broken and then seeks healing through the power of God, rather than quitting the marriage. Until now I have doubted the powers at work here: forgiveness, healing, authentic reconciliation. But I am beginning to believe in the possibility of it all, and it is radically changing the way I think about larger issues in the world where we need to forgive and seek healing in order to continue living.
On a different note, I began my 22nd week of pregnancy this past
weekend. It's flying by and that makes me a little nervous because life with an 17 month old and newborn is going to be insane for a while. But I can't hardly wait either!! The pic is from several weeks ago, so he's a lot bigger now.And with that, to Glen I return...one of three professors who keeps me sane at Fuller so far. Many thanks!
5.18.2007
Moodiness and School
I've been acting like a dumb mutt the last few days chasing my tail in vigorous circles only to collapse in an unsatisfied heap of exhaustion. I blame it on the influx of pregnancy hormones. Phone calls have gone unreturned, homework assignments are piling high, and the state of the apartment makes even the unpregnant nauseous. So what has me in such a whirlwind, you ask? School. Plain as that. It's so conservative I don't like going. I'm tired and pukey so I don't feel like going. And because of the above two, I'm completely unmotivated; so often I find myself doing homework during class and irritated if the professor keeps us a second too long. Get a grip, you say. Yes, that is what needs to be done. So based on the advice of my husband, mother, and pastor, I am in process of doing just that.
As a result, life is getting better. I just need for this morning sickness to finish its course, and then I can get off the couch to do what needs to be done. But alas, a few more weeks of it remain, and in the meantime I will work to stay positive about school. I really believe that God doesn't plan the course of our lives so that we will always be happy. So I am forcing myself to live out that belief, which mean I'm not going to quit school, even though I think it would make me happy right now. Deep down, I know that's a lie and I would feel even more unsatisfied than I do right now. So, I'm done with the spoiled brat routine and moving on to more important things--like drinking some delicious chilled Minute Maid Light Lemonade--ahhh.
P.S. Did Burke really leave Christina? What the heck--I waited for the wedding all season! I'm pissed.
As a result, life is getting better. I just need for this morning sickness to finish its course, and then I can get off the couch to do what needs to be done. But alas, a few more weeks of it remain, and in the meantime I will work to stay positive about school. I really believe that God doesn't plan the course of our lives so that we will always be happy. So I am forcing myself to live out that belief, which mean I'm not going to quit school, even though I think it would make me happy right now. Deep down, I know that's a lie and I would feel even more unsatisfied than I do right now. So, I'm done with the spoiled brat routine and moving on to more important things--like drinking some delicious chilled Minute Maid Light Lemonade--ahhh.
P.S. Did Burke really leave Christina? What the heck--I waited for the wedding all season! I'm pissed.
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