10.07.2009

Now What?

Okay. Since May I have graduated from seminary, celebrated my daughter's third birthday along with our sixth wedding anniversary, along with the completion of Tyler's Ph.D., received the most dramatic and gorgeous gift of all time (thank you Laura James), ministered as a hospital chaplain for ten weeks, attended just part 1 of a ten-year high school reunion, learned that I currently know three people who are going through or are on the brink of divorce, spent considerable time talking to my husband about our dwindling finances, and have transitioned into life as a stay-at-home mom. My brother migrated from the couch in our small apartment (read: the live-in Mexican nanny I will never afford) to London, and my parents have made a bed in their own home for Ronald, a Rwandan studying at a nearby university. Oh, and I died my hair, (re)pierced my nose, gave up eating red meat (except for Dixie Chili) and fell in love with Tim Gunn.

I have had so much to process (like the models of various body piercings on display in the piercing parlor which are still ingrained in my mind--OUCH) and so much I've been wanting to write (I think I've learned how to pray again), but now that I am here, I'm not quite sure what to say.

A few things have not changed.
I still find contemporary church settings (on the whole) theologically and practically unsatisfying and socially exclusive. (How's that for some negativity right out of the gate?)
I still wonder how my call to mother and pastor are going to collide.
And despite my seemingly stronger introversion, I love hearing the stories of people that contribute to their make-up and personhood.
My friends are completely amazing.
Lastly, parenting is still really difficult and even more rewarding.
I'm perpetually tired, but my spleen is normal-sized therefore ruling out mono. (wink).

So, this next season of blogging is going to be fairly narcissistic as I process the above. If you think I'm annoying, you may want to let this cite be. Since I have a tendency to live out of my emotion and experience my relationships accordingly, I'm going to (hopefully and therapeutically) wade through the feelings that have accompanied and even dominated my last few months as a wife,
mom,
daughter,
sister,
friend,
minister,
secret-holder, gossip-er,
pray-er,
woman,
worship-er,
reader,
traveler, critic, and celebrator.

So, in the spirit of my new love (note the photo), this is about making it work. Life, that is.
.

3 comments:

Holly said...

i love you. lots of changes. lots of discernment. thanks for being my friend, gossip-er, secret holder...you're the best.

Cafe Pasadena said...

1st: Pray. It always works out for me when I don't go it alone.
2nd, this journaling should help.
3rd, simplify your life to what is most important. Reduce its weight.

With finances: This economy is tough. Is there a strong demand for what you & husband are offering at this time such that it will bring in a sufficient income?

Just a couple of ideas.

Musings said...

Lauren,
Beautiful words. I an really jealous of your nose ring BTW. Maybe when I am not a full time pastor I can have one too :)
Take care of yourself and guard your dreams. In due time it will all be well.