Lake Leelanau

These photos best encapsulate our Michigan experience.





So...the Bass Pro Shop hats? Well, Tyler and I had our first experience at the new super shop Grand Opening in Rancho Cucamonga and boy, were we flabergasted--by the sheer amount of smokers gathered in one place, the giant stuffed deers, and well, let's face it, all the mullets outside the front entrance eye-ing the display boats. How could anyone resist the $2.99 mesh trucker hats to commemorate the experience? (No, I wasn't really drinking alcohol. It was a prop.)

Ethics Yikes

Well, Here I am. Back from a blogging hiatus of what?...three months now. Where does the time go? I have an ethics midterm tomorrow morning, so what better time to begin anew on the blogspot then the night before the big exams in a great effort to procrastinate on further study. Frankly, the thought of defending just war and just peacemaking along with articulating arguments on euthanasia, in vitro fertilization, premarital sex, and divorce is exhausting me at the moment. Oh, why I can't I just pray for God to divinely inspire me and claim the A now? Just kidding.

Anyway, my brain has been processing lots of theological issues lately: church planting, salvation vs. redemption, and reconciliation. I am not going to get into all of it right now (my conscience is telling me to hurry this up and get back to studying somewhat), but I will say that a realization has hit me amidst recent conversation and ethical readings: I have never fully been wounded by another person. Yes the occasional backslap of petty middle school girls and sorority (don't tell anyone that I used to be Greek) mishaps have come my way, but I'm talking about for real woundedness. The realization came about through the ethics lecture on divorce and the power that comes from a covenant relationship that has been broken and then seeks healing through the power of God, rather than quitting the marriage. Until now I have doubted the powers at work here: forgiveness, healing, authentic reconciliation. But I am beginning to believe in the possibility of it all, and it is radically changing the way I think about larger issues in the world where we need to forgive and seek healing in order to continue living.

On a different note, I began my 22nd week of pregnancy this past weekend. It's flying by and that makes me a little nervous because life with an 17 month old and newborn is going to be insane for a while. But I can't hardly wait either!! The pic is from several weeks ago, so he's a lot bigger now.

And with that, to Glen I return...one of three professors who keeps me sane at Fuller so far. Many thanks!

Moodiness and School

I've been acting like a dumb mutt the last few days chasing my tail in vigorous circles only to collapse in an unsatisfied heap of exhaustion. I blame it on the influx of pregnancy hormones. Phone calls have gone unreturned, homework assignments are piling high, and the state of the apartment makes even the unpregnant nauseous. So what has me in such a whirlwind, you ask? School. Plain as that. It's so conservative I don't like going. I'm tired and pukey so I don't feel like going. And because of the above two, I'm completely unmotivated; so often I find myself doing homework during class and irritated if the professor keeps us a second too long. Get a grip, you say. Yes, that is what needs to be done. So based on the advice of my husband, mother, and pastor, I am in process of doing just that.

As a result, life is getting better. I just need for this morning sickness to finish its course, and then I can get off the couch to do what needs to be done. But alas, a few more weeks of it remain, and in the meantime I will work to stay positive about school. I really believe that God doesn't plan the course of our lives so that we will always be happy. So I am forcing myself to live out that belief, which mean I'm not going to quit school, even though I think it would make me happy right now. Deep down, I know that's a lie and I would feel even more unsatisfied than I do right now. So, I'm done with the spoiled brat routine and moving on to more important things--like drinking some delicious chilled Minute Maid Light Lemonade--ahhh.
P.S. Did Burke really leave Christina? What the heck--I waited for the wedding all season! I'm pissed.

Marcus, my buddy

Where has Marcus Borg been all my life? The first time I heard about him was from a friend who is a new Christian and she found him helpful--this was like two months ago. Then I realize he is a gigantic historical Jesus fanatic. Then I am writing a paper of the Christus Victor theory of Atonement and find one his books in a bibliography. What the heck? Then, I realize that Tyler has two of his books on one of our shelves in the living room. Am I living in a cave below sea level? I have desperately been needing for some time now a non-Evangelical writer who knows his stuff and isn't angry. Thank you. I have already found The Heart of Christianity extremely helpful. Check it out if you're interested and we can chat about it some more.

This is Amazing

This speaks for itself; I hope. I can only assume the designer of this was serious in his artistic expression/creation. Good ole subculture, rebuking-the-devil, evangelicalism at it's best. I'm thinking about placing this on the cover of my Christus Victor Atonement Theory Paper that I'm currently writing. (just kidding.)

Nothing Special

Since I've started this blog I'm learning that each posting is hanging in the balance, waiting patiently to be written and published onto the site. But it takes time for me to get on with it because I think I must have some profound insight at each moment of sharing and reflection. Sort of like when I'm in therapy, heaven forbid I just show up to the appointment without some life-pending issue to discuss in order to break free into the realm of perfection. Then I remember to calm down, relinquish the pressure to always get it right, yeah, I know, even blogging, and enjoy the process of typing--even if it's stupid stuff no one else cares about.

On with the posting point, you say...well, more about Jesus. He was preaching a message of sustainability even before it was cool to care about the environment. This comes to my attention through Kyle who just transmitted an email evident of lots of deep thoughts to Cindy about this. Jesus was all about promoting life, life in the Kingdom. Jesus epitomized love of people, love of God, love of the created world. (Could the picture be any more dramatic? I couldn't resist it.) When he spoke of servicing others with respect, when he showed that all human lives were valuable and worthy of healing, when he picked up the littered coke can and in threw it in the nearest recycling bin (oh wait, he didn't do that probably would have), he was saying, "Stop driving your pollutant SUV's, don't live in LA with all the smog, don't shop at Walmart, don't use too may baggies in one lunch box, and don't run the water the entire time you're brushing your teeth."

I used to brush this way-of-living-differently stuff off; I still do some of it (I commute 25 minutes to church, even). But my exegetical class on the book of Matthew won't allow it anymore. Jesus really did intend for us to live out the Sermon on the Mount. He really wants us to live differently than the rest of the world lives. His teachings are not just a Platonic-like ideal. He really wants us to work to sustain creation, life, and one another. But, damn, this is some hard shit. So what do I need to change if I'm going to take it all a little more seriously: yikes, that's another blog for another day. (I buy organic baby food, that's gotta count for something.)

Hymns Adorning Worship

For the past several weeks I’ve been asking about Jesus. Who is he? What was the point of his mission? What is the purpose of the church? How are Jesus and the church related? How do I pray to Jesus/in the name of Jesus? There are more uncertainties for me right now than certainties. People who dish out answers so quickly to these queries drop low on my spectrum of legitimacy right now.




Here is a picture of one of my favorite professors at Fuller, systematics guru, Colin Brown. Isn't this picture awesome? (I can't figure out how to get it smaller.) I sit in his Christology and Soteriology class twice a week and wonder more. In our discussion about the Quest for the Historical Jesus we noted how some scholars want to evade the entire mission and say that we know all there is to know about Jesus via Scripture and centuries of preaching Jesus. Others in favor of the mission counter-attack with the historical situation of first-century Palestine, the Jewish animosity towards Jesus, etc. Without full understanding of these social/religious/political issues, we'll never really, fully know him.

At this point, we moved to a discussion of faith. If everything in life is so challenging and complex at times--to the point where we don't know which bracket to complete on our tax forms, we're diagnosed with cancer and we don't know which treatment to have or if we should even have treatment, we have worries about the best way to raise our children, and the list goes on--if all of this mundane, life-stuff is such a challenge, then why would we expect faith to be any different? Why do scholars and individuals in the church want to boil down Scripture, God, and kingdom living to the point that it only exists as simple, clear vapors in the air rather than rumbling, substantial, scary-hot water? Faith and knowing Jesus and understanding Scripture are difficult things.

Dr. Brown sought instruction through song to further his point:
He lives
He lives
Christ Jesus lives today.
He walks with me
And talk with me
Along life's narrow way

He lives
He lives
Christ Jesus lives today
You ask me how I know he lives
He lives within my heart

A familiar hymn, no doubt for us Baptists! We must sing this with caution, he warns. For we only know of the Jesus who is in our hearts based on the Jesus we know in Scripture--the tendential, manipulated, multi-focus book that it is. For this reason we also must beware of the childhood favorite

Jesus loves me this I know
for the Bible tells me so...

In other words, what does the Bible really tell? Well, I plan on teaching this song to Livia (I sing it to her every night as I lay her into bed). But I couldn't agree more. So where does this leave me...still with lots of questions. If the quest to know Jesus--and all that it entails is worth committing my life to, which I believe it is, then I don't want to cheapen it with theologically shallow worship.

Yesterday at PMC we sang a lovely hymn in remembrance of the VTech victims. It is a hymn that I plan on singing again as prayer to this man, messiah, Jesus.

"A Prayer for our Children"
1. God, we have heard it, sounding in the silence:
news of the children lost to this world's violence.
Children of promise!
Then without warning,
loves ones are mourning.

2. Jesus, you came to bear our human sorrow;
you came to give us hope for each tomorrow.
You are our life, Lord,
God's own love revealing.
We need your healing.

3. Heal us from giving weapons any glory;
help us, O Prince of Peace, to hear your story;
help us resist the evil all around here;
may love abound here!

4. By your own Spirit, give your church a clear voice;
in this world's violence,
help us make a new choice.
Help us to witness to the joy your peace brings,
until your world sings!

Now this is a song I can sing today without worry.
Amen.